Keep Your Nungas Front And Centre
by rachao
Summary: Set after Luurve Is A Many Trousered Thing- typical Georgia/Dave story, with my own twists in it... Massimo is back, Robbie is depressed, and Dave's as mad as ever. What will Georgia do? R&R please!
1. Kittykat! The seaweed becomes you

_**Keep Your Nungas Front And Centre**_

_By MudbloodAndProud (Rachel)_

This story is dedicated to my very own Ace Gang. You do me proud girls.

**DISCLAIMER: Georgia Nicholson is a legend in her own right. I am just having fun with her. Anything you recognise belongs to Louise Rennison.**

* * *

**In the wild**

**Kissing Dave(?)**

**11:16**

Why can't I have a quiet life?

**Five seconds later**

Because life is full of tragnosity, that's why.

Dave and I are comfortably climbing up the snogging scale. This is fabby and marvy and everything. Dave is clearly the King of nip libbling.

**11:20**

Hmm, but I did say I would be Massimo's one and only. It seems that my red bottom is back. I am like the female baboon who flashes her red bottomness for all to see.

Shuttup brain, shuttup.

**Two minutes later**

Maybe I should push Dave away. I don't want to be a baboon.

**One minute later**

Phwoar, but he _is _vair good at this snogging business.

**Still kissing Dave**

Anyway, he said he loved me. Wait, maybe that was a laugh. After all, he is called Dave the LAUGH. It would be plain meany to reject him now.

**30 seconds later**

Why can't we just be chums? Take the simple road, that my motto.

**11:25**

His arms are going up my back now. He's rubbing my shoulders, haha, its rather tickly. Hahahaaa…

**One minute later**

Poo, bum, and also, _merde._

Turns out it was rather too tickly for the likes of me to handle. I am now drenched in water and green bits. Stupid river. They aren't good for anything, except Jas' naf wildlife. That is _le_ fact.

**Thirty seconds later**

Blimey O'Reilly trousers, the water is rather nippy-noodles. My nungas are probably doing that sticky-outey thing.

Brilliant. Thank you God. Not.

**Five seconds later**

Dave is still fine and happy on the log too. Laughing like a loon on happy pills. He was the one who snogged the life out of me.

Where is the fairinosity in that, I ask you?

'Kittykat! The seaweed becomes you.'

'Dave you mad fool! Help me get out of here.'

**Five minutes later**

Note to self: Never fall into a river again.

Climbing out of a muddy bank is not fun. I am covered absolutely in mud. Mud is _tres _similar to poop. Same colour, same texture, same smell. I officially look like the inside of a toilet bowl. Yay.

'Are you alright there?'

'Yes Dave, I'm perfectly hunky-dory. Now hurry up and pull me out.'

* * *

**Midnight**

**Back at the tent**

Everyone seems to have some sort of fit when they see me. It must be my natural beauty; they are having an epipha-whatsit at the sight of me.

'Ohmygawd! What _happened _to you? You look like you're covered in poop!'

Or not.

'Thanks Jas. Nice to hear your kind words.'

'I wasn't trying to be kind… I was kind?'

Is she mad?

'Just shut up now, Jas.'

…

'Why are you staring at me like that?'

'I'm shutting up.'

She's mad.

**Fifteen minutes later**

Truth and dare is now officially my least favourite game.

Well, for now anyway.

'Georgia,'

'Oui.'

'Truth or dare?'

'Uhmmmm truth.'

_Whisper whisper, giggle giggle._

'Ok, who do you fancy more-Robbie, Massimo, or Dave?'

Oh poo.

Everyone's staring me.

Oh baby Jesus, why?

'Hmmm… Uh… I think, like… maybe?'

Oh great, now I've turned into Ellen the ditherspaz.

I sneak a little sneaky look at Dave with extreme casualnosity.

He is acting as if he's doesn't care what I say.

**One second later**

How can he not care about what I think of him? I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HIS LOVE! He's obviously just pretending to not be interested.

**Two seconds later**

It's giving me the Horn.

Shuttup brain, shuttup.

**12:43**

Jas is staring at me like a…um… a starey thing. The pressure is killing me. It is like the great Billy Shakespeare said- _To be with him, or not to be with him._ That is _c'est la question_. Or something like that anyway.

**Fifteen seconds later**

I need to say something. Everyone is eye-stalking me. It is rather scarypants. Even Ellen has shut up and is listening.

**One second later**

Maybe I should use the 'oldy but goody' method.

_Eeny meeny miney mo…_

And that's when the zip of the tent opened…

* * *

**Author's Note: Haha cliffhanger... please review if you want more! Very first try at writing Georgie-esque stories, please no flames.**

**Hope you enjoyed!**


	2. Miss Wilson should never sing

_**Keep Your Nungas Front And Centre**_

_By MudbloodAndProud (Rachel)_

This story is dedicated to my very own Ace Gang. You do me proud girls.

**DISCLAIMER: Georgia Nicholson is a legend in her own right. I am just having fun with her. Anything you recognise belongs to Louise Rennison.**

* * *

**10 seconds later**

Saved by the Herr!

I never thought there would be a time when Herr Kamyer could look heavenly.

**30 seconds later**

I take that back, just saw him in short shorts pyjamas. I have been scarred for life. I may never be able to look at legs properly again.

* * *

**10 minutes later**

Herr Kamyer has sent us to our tents and scared the boys away (possibly with his furry knees). He was about to go all adult-ish and responsible on us, but was too tired to lecture. So here we are all snuggled up and nice.

**2 minutes later**

I can't believe Dave just ignored me and ran away. He could have said goodbye. Hmph. I will have to eschew him with a firm hand when I see him again.

**1 minute later**

Although every time I do we seem to end up snogging.

**1 minute later**

I can't help it that I'm irresistible.

**2 minutes later.**

Maybe Massimo and Dave can have a fight off like the Hamburgese did when they rode horses.

Save me the trouble.

**5 minutes later**

Oh holy beard, I cannot sleep. This Dave the Laugh fandango is going to give me eye bags. I may have to steal some more of Mutti's cream. I am, after all, in the prime of my life.

**3 minutes later**

Everything is just running around my head, I will never sleep at this state…

zzzzzz…

* * *

**Next morning**

**6:50am**

Blimey O'Reilley's trousers, I feel like my head's about to fall off. Miss Wilson decided to wake us all up by singing her rendition of 'Auld Lang Syne'.

I don't know who thought her the song, but they are obviously either deaf or mad.

**2 minutes later**

I had a dream that I was getting married to Masimo. At first everything was groovy and everything. He looked so marvy and Luuurve Goddy standing at the altar next to me. I could see his cat eyes and they were all crinkled up and beautiful.

Then I realised that I was wearing a veil so I couldn't see properly; everything was blurry. In front of me was a huge orange in glasses playing the guitar. It turned out to be Call-me-Arnold the vicar in a kaftan playing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" from The Life of Brian.

A voice behind me said, "Oy, don't look now but your gay husband-to-be has got a handbag." And I turned round to see Dave the Laugh dressed in a pink dress and carrying a bouquet. That is because he was my bridesmaid!!

I was just about to say to him, "At least he isn't wearing a lipstick like you!" when Masimo reached across and lifted up my veil.

I puckered up for the biggus snoggus, but he was looking below my mouth and saying, "Georgia, you have... how do you say... no chin."

And that's when Miss Wilson started singing.

**2 minutes later**

What does that mean?

Is Dave the Laugh a lesbian?

Or should I get botox in my chin?

**30 seconds later**

Why must I be so mad?

**5 minutes later**

Hahahahahahaha.

Herr Kamyer is not punishing us!

He came over to us and started lecturing us, but then Jools said 'Are you gonna tell Hawkeye then?' (but obviously in a more polite adult language)

And Herr started going all red. I thought he was choking, and was scared that I had to perform the Heimlich maneuver, girl of many talents that I am.

But it turns out, that Herr Kamyer is scared of getting in trouble with Hawkeye! Clearly, we are not the only one she terrorizes.

This means that we get off Scott free!

Success!

**7:35am**

Tents are hopeless. Ro-Ro, Jools and I cannot possibly pack one up. It is quite literally impossible. Miss Wilson keeps coming over and reminding us that the bus is coming soon.

**2 minutes later**

Jas has already finished. I asked her politely if she could help us.

'Jas, you know that you are my bestest friend in the world and I love you in a non-lesbian way?'

'Yes…'

'Will you pack up our tent for us?'

'No.'

Typico.

**7:50am**

Yes, yes and double yes!

The tent is folded and done. It wouldn't fit in the tiny bag though, and Miss Wilson had to lend us her jacket so we could wrap the poles in it.

But as I always say, its not how you do it, but the fact that we did.

Viking Inferno Disco for VICTORY!!

**3 minutes later**

Jas is so immature. She wouldn't join in with our HORRRNness. Instead, she went off for some last-minute newt spotting.

* * *

**8:00am**

We are on the bus back to civilization! I am sooooo happy. I may even be looking forward to seeing Mutti and Vatti…maybe, anyway.

**10 minutes later**

Bus Elvis is being ridiculously cranky. He shouted at us, just because we were dancing the Viking Inferno. We didn't even stand up, just used our arms and legs while keeping our bottoms on the seat. But now he keeps glaring at us like two glaring things.

**2 minutes later**

It is starting to scare me.

* * *

**2 hours later**

We are home!! Finally!!

As I got off the bus, I even said 'Thank you!' to Bus Elvis. He just grunted at me. How that is part of the English language, I do not know.

**5 minutes later**

Very surprised to see that the Loon parents have actually turned up. Late, but at least they got the right day.

**2 minutes later**

Something very amazing has happened. A Mrs Herr Kamyer has turned up! With a titchy tiny baby Herr Kamyer!! We knew because they were all wearing the same glasses. Herr Kamyer scampered over to them and they all lurched off together. It was rather cute, if you like that sort of thing.

Ro Ro was gazing at them as they lolloped off in matching slacks, and then she said, "You do know what this means, don't you?"

The Ace Gang nodded like the wise nodding things that we are. Then Ellen said, "Er... no, erm, I mean... well, what does it mean?"

And Ro Ro said the hideous words: "Herr Kamyer has got to Number Ten."

I feel a bit sick.

* * *

**Author's Note: WOW!! 7 reviews on the first chapter! You have no idea how happy that makes me. Thanks also goes to TrampyMouse, Daughter Of The Slaughter, lady.lily.of.tattisdale and jenlov3 for favouriting me! You guys help fuel my self esteem ;)**

**I wrote this at 11pm, so I am actually quite proud of how it turned out. Sorry it took so long to update!**

**Review!! _You know you want to!_**

**Kisses! (non-lesbianish, of course)  
**


	3. Frogs in Froggie

**Sorry for the wait, but I'm back!**

**Onto the story first then!**

* * *

**10:24am**

**Back in the Loon Parlour**

After days of hiking in the wilderness, with no idea whether or not I would survive, the best welcome home party my parents can give me is Uncle Eddie.

And that is not even the worst of it- he drew a face on the back of his egghead and is talking to me. From the back of his head.

_Typico._

**2 minutes later**

I can't even hide in my room. Libby has quite literally gone crazy-lady in it. There are bits of banana and cat fur everywhere.

As well as a thermometer, three cups, and a few brightly coloured hats.

**30 seconds later**

This is what the world has come to.

**10:30am**

Have retreated to the bathroom. I must start my beauty regime- the things the wilderness can do to one's looks.

**5 minutes later**

Cleanse, tone, moisturise. A girl has to always look her best!

**2 minutes later**

Sitting on the floor with a facemask on. I can hear Vati and Uncle Eddie singing 'Love Shack'. It is not a pretty sight.

**30 seconds later**

I mean sound. Hearing. _Hight_?

**10 seconds later**

Now Libby is running around the house singing 'Love _Shoe_'.

It is a miracle I have escaped from such upbringing.

**11:13am**

All prettied up and nowhere to go.

Civilisation is boring.

**2 minutes later**

I wonder if Massimo called me when I was gone.

If he did, Mutti probably scared him off.

**5 minutes later**

There is nothing to do. I must take a bath.

**20 minutes later**

Lying in the bath. My fingers are going wrinkly. I wonder if I stay in here for long I will go as wrinkly as Maisie.

**2 minutes later**

Maybe then she can teach me how to knit sweaters without a neckhole…

* * *

**12am**

**Still in the bath**

_Sacre bleu_!

**4 seconds later**

I had fallen asleep- in the bath!

I could have drowned!!

**2 minutes later**

I'm finally out of the bathroom of death. The loons are still looning around the house.

**3 minutes later**

I'm rather hungry. Maybe there's some food in the parlour.

Ha, that's funny.

**30 seconds later**

Rummaging around the empty kitchen. All I've found is an expired muesli bar and a bag of sugar.

'Oh there you are Georgia. What have you been doing for the past hour?'

I let my jaw drop quite theatrically.

'Mutti. I am your oldest daughter and you don't even care that I have nearly DROWNED in the bathroom. And now, you're depriving me of the nourishment I surely need after three long and weary days in the wilderness!'

I turn away from her with great digniosity. Maybe now she'll realise that unbelievable treatment I am subjected to.

'Stop being silly Georgia, now help me bring some drinks for the blokes.'

**2 minutes later**

Finished serving the loons. I would ask for payment, but clearly I am more like a slave then a servant to them.

**5 minutes later**

Why won't anyone call me?

**3 minutes later**

Sitting on my window ledge, watching the world go by.

Good thing I'm wearing pants, or Oscar Across-The-Road will be here within minutes to look up my skirt.

**2 minutes later**

Why isn't anything INTERESTING happening?

**10 seconds later**

Oh no, Libby is approaching me with a mad smile on her face.

'Gingeeer! Gingey Gingey!'

Aww, Libby really is quite cute sometimes. She's giving me a big hug at the moment. At least someone around here cares.

'Oh, hi Libby… Libbs, Libby, stop snogging my knees.'

'Mmm, naaaiicee Gingey.'

My sister is turning into a lesbian!

Now she's looking at me all weird, and staring at my journal… ohh no Libby, DON'T-

* * *

**7:46pm**

I've FINALLY found my journal again.

Along with Vati's belt, Mutti's purple stockings, and lots of Angus' fur.

It seems that Libby is quite the scavenger.

**30 seconds later**

Well, what have I done in my absence from thy journal?

Hmm, let me think.

No, I can't think of anything.

I may have to go to bed, life is so boring. Its amazingly STOOOPID that we _still_ have school tomorrow.

_Unbelievable._

**8:39pm**

I'm in bed, I need my beauty sleep for tomorrow.

It would be quite cosy, except for the presence of two incredibly annoying cats.

Angus has clearly taught his son well in the ways of eating my foot.

**9:24pm**

Oh noes, now Libby is here too.

Sucking my fingers this time- what has she learnt from Mutti, without me to shelter her from such lesbian madness?

**9:56pm**

I need sleep, I need sleep, I need sleeeeep…

_Zzzzz._

* * *

**Next day**

**7:39am**

I need sleep, I need sleep, I need SLEEEEEP!!

It feels like I only just got to bed, and Mutti is dragging me up again.

**30 seconds later**

Not to mention Libby bonking Our Lady Sandra over my head.

Again.

And again.

And again.

**5 minutes later**

I have been chased away from my house by a mad ball of fur.

Vati really needs to shave soon, he's going to scare the neighbours.

**3 minutes later**

Met Jas outside her place.

Surprise surprise, she's looking at all sorts of naff specimens with Hunky.

'Hi Jas, got some newt's eyes there do we?'

'You only get newt's eyes in _Harry Potter_.'

'_I'm_ sure.'

'You should be.'

'Yeah well, maybe Hunky's _Harry Potter_! They're both English blokes with no, er, beards.'

Oh hurrah, they've started snogging again. Right in the middle of my theory too!

'Jas, if you do not stop eating Tom's face, I'll start walking to the madhouse without you.'

**30 seconds later**

She ignored me!

Hmph. Fine then, I shall eschew them both.

**2 minutes later**

Ah, the dangers of walking alone. You never know when a Foxwood lad may stick his head up your skirt.

But I will NOT stop and wait for Jas the Mushroom. It is not my problem that she is slow.

**2 seconds later**

And also it gives me a laughing fit watching her wave her hands around at me like a mad fool.

'Gee, GEE! Wait for me!!'

'Oh deary me, is that the wind I hear? It must be, after all the one I called my friend has abandoned thy for thou wonderous lover.'

Oh no, here's school.

Why, baby Jesus, why?

**Stalag 14**

**8:15am**

All the Ace Gang is here, so we are having a quick rendezvous before class.

I am practising the art of the cold shoulder, and am ignoring Jas. I feel that I emit a real sense of sexy glaciousity, though not in a lesbianish way.

It will take her _two_ Jammy Dodgers before I will forgive _her_.

Everyone seems to talk about lads these days, it marks a real maturiosity coming to us.

'…and then Sven told me about a store in the city, it sales furry bison horns. I need you girlies to save up, they're going to be compulsory at our wedding…'

'…but then Edward was like, er, 'Watch your step', and what, uhm, like, you know, I mean, what does that mean? Like watch your step because the grass was like, sort of, you know, slippery? Or watch your step as in, like, don't fall cause I fancy you, uhm, like yeah?'

Such foolish, childish troubles. None know the true burning love between me and my Italian Stallion.

'Oh yeah Gee, has Massimo called?'

'Uhhmmm, I'm not sure…'

'What d'you mean, you're not sure? He hasn't has he?'

Why is it that everyone chooses to stop talking right at this moment?

Thanks Jools.

**Froggie**

**9:30am**

Amazing.

We are actually talking about frogs in froggie.

School truly is torture of the highest level. I almost wish I was back in the wilderness.

Especially if I was snogging Dave…

Shut up brain, shut up.

**RE**

**10:20am**

Oh, fabulouso, Miss Wilson has decided that she absolutely must blabber on about trees and badgers and how wonderful camp is.

Not that she realises nobody is actually listening, except Jas of course- she's actually _advising_ Miss Wilson on the best way to start a fire…

But I do believe Ellen is asleep. And Mabs is quite obviously painting her toe nails.

'Hmm, that's really interesting Jas, but I'm afraid our discussion has gone over time, and I have quite the exciting announcement to make.' Miss Wilson says, and claps her hands like a kindergaten teacher.

Yay, more fun.

'Ever since the wonderful performance of _Macbeth_, I have been at talks with both our headmistress and the headmaster of Foxwood. Luckily, both members have agreed, and it has been decided that we will be performing a _musical!_

Well _that_ woke Ellen up.

The whole class has gone mad. Jas looks so excited she may vomit. Mabs and Jools are madly whispering about Foxwood boys. And Rosie is just laughing her head of.

'But miss, what musical are we performing?'

'Oh I'm glad you asked that Jas. I'm sure you girls will all be _delighted _at the musical we have chosen, and we're extremely privileged to get the rights for it.'

This is madness, why would anybody be thrilled about a _musical_? All it is is boys in tights and lots of naff dancing.

But wait, Miss Wilson is telling us the name of the musical…

**20 seconds later**

We're performing _High School Musical._

_Sacre Bleu._

* * *

**HELLO FROM THE LAND OF THE DEAD.**

**Ok, so I'm not really dead.**

**SO SO SO SO sorry I haven't updated on this sooner! I seriously had some problems recently, but I finally have a definite plot to go with. Thats right, High School Musical! I hope you guys like :D, though if you actually like HSM, don't take offense when I insult it...**

**Also, a note. There's so many vlogs on youtube about Harry Potter and Twilight, my friends and I felt a definite gap in the internet in Georgia Nicholson vlogs. So we've started one! Its me, Rachel, Caitlin, also known as thehiddenauthor on fanfic (her stories are amazing) and Lily. Please watch, comment, rate and subscibe! We're called Le GeeCast, search it on youtube! Or you could go through the link on my fanfic page.  
**

**Please remember to review! Feedback always makes me extremely happy, no matter how sad that sounds.**

**Love from Rachel (MudbloodAndProud)**


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